WIDGET!!!

2/23/09 - 3/1/09 : Last House on the Left (1972)

Thoughts:

With the remake coming out on Friday, March 13th (the 2nd of THREE Friday the 13ths this year), I thought it best to see the original before stepping foot into a theater to see the remake. Good thing it was on Comcast On Demand---for free. (Especially since it's in high demand on Netflix.) What is there to say, really? It wins points for being realistically gritty in parts, but loses points for bordering soft-core porn. I'm all about suspending disbelief for movies, but there were so many moments in this film where that was just impossible. I suppose when it comes to horror films, it's gotta be all or none with me: either make the whole thing so unbelievable that I can forgive the absurdity of it all and go with the flow, or keep it realistic so I'm not questioning the logic behind a character using shaving cream as a murder weapon. The remake HAS GOT to be better than the original. If it's not, I'll be really surprised.

What I Learned:

Your parents made out with each other while they decorated your birthday cake. Perhaps the celebration of your birth conjured up memories of your conception? Whatever the case, I'd skip the cake and go straight for the ice cream instead.

Boobs are a key component of any horror film. Period. Whenever possible, inform the audience that you didn't have boobs until this year...this provides the audience with context and more empathy when a group of convicts gets a hold of them..."Oh! But they were NEW! What a shame..."

When you become a parent, you will automatically obtain MacGyver-like skills in order to go after those who have killed or maimed your offspring.