1/12 - 1/18 Eulogy and Bolt

Thoughts:

Not terrible, but I expected more. However, it was worth the watch for some, very limited, comical moments.


What I Learned:
It is impossible to suspend disbelief when the twist at the end is so goddamned ridiculous that you want to slap the writer in the face.

I heart Zooey Deschanel. Even though this movie fell mildly flat, her performance, in my opinion, saved it. And kept me watching, when I would have otherwise shut it off.

Ray Romano seems to be incapable of playing anyone other than Ray Romano...although, it's okay. I can deal with that.






Thoughts:
Why, much like my lunch options when I go out to eat at work, can't I seem to see a movie that gives me that "My life will be forever changed" feeling? Granted, I didn't actually expect this from Bolt. But seriously...I thought at the very least that I would walk away feeling a little mushy. I actually walked out with morning breath and drool crusted to my chin. Yes...I fell asleep in the middle of the film.

What I Learned:
Above all, my fondness on the awkward jerky movements of pigeons was so well-represented in this film that I can't give it no stars at all. Pigeons are hilarious. Thank God I'm in Chicago...pigeons pigeons everywhere.

Miley Cyrus drives me nuts. One minute, I think she's all right. The next? I want to give her a mullet like her dad used to have.

I can attest to the fact that hamsters are badass. This movie captures that, which I wholeheartedly appreciate.

1/5 - 1/11: Sylvia

Thoughts:
I really wanted this movie to be better. Really I did. So much so that I sat in my little chair, perpetually shoving popcorn into my ever-loving mouth as my mind kept repeating, "Just wait, Tiff...it's going to get good here in a second. Wait for it. Wait for it. And...roll credits...


...damn."

I enjoy Sylvia Path's poetry, as well as her life story. Unfortunately, this movie spent about 2 hours covering only a slice of it all. What a pity.

What I Learned:

Gwyneth Paltrow made me forget she was Gwyneth Paltrow, and actually had me believing she was Sylvia Plath...so there's that.

When a story is inherently dramatic, lay off the damn dramatic musical interludes for fuck sake.

Regardless of how much of the story was left out, I still have a strange affection and curiosity toward Sylvia Plath.

12/29-1/04: Ghost Town

First movie watched in 2009.

Thoughts:
Not bad, but not great either. Put it this way, sometimes what you expect is completely different than what you get. Regardless, there's a special place in my heart for Ricky Gervais.

What I Learned:
In order to avoid coming off as the comedy version of The Sixth Sense, simply use "seeing dead people" as a ploy to get people to see your movie...and then abandon the idea for 90% of the film.

Also, if you die for a few minutes during a surgical procedure, it's always funnier if you're getting a colonoscopy.

And finally, the reason my tooth hurts is because I have bad molar contact. (See, there is some truth in fiction.)